You, the expert

At times you’re sure you know your spouse. You know their fears, which dessert they’ll select and what turns them on. Yet there can still be moments when you feel, “I hardly know you.”

An expert is someone with a high level of skill or knowledge of a subject. Experts don’t gain knowledge by accident, they work at it with concerted and persistent study.

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My boys enjoy going to school. They love learning not for learning’s sake nor for what they hope to achieve in the future. They love it because they’re not working but having fun. And who doesn’t like to have fun?! Sure, the dentist and the safety conscious may not approve of our use of sweets to teach maths at home – using a sharp knife to divide them among us. But who said anything about safety, especially when there’s 1/4 of a sweet at stake?!

Learning is not always fun. In spite of our best efforts we experience the frustration of just not getting it. I recall my irritation with the Fourier Transform when studying maths at university. It was hard work and I never really got it. And so with learning your spouse there will be times of great fun and times of utter perplexity.

Part of my maths problem was the teaching. The lecturer, speaking to a class of 200, left me confused and moved on to the next subject before I’d grasped the first. In learning to love your spouse you have the advantage of a one-to-one teacher-to-student ratio. You can ask questions and go at your own pace.

This then is a call to work, to study and love. This is a challenge not just to achieve expert status, but to become THE expert. Not a theoretical knowledge about your spouse, but to become the expert lover of your spouse.

How will you pursue your study to gain expert status?


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