Why the tools you have are not as important as you think

There can be something very satisfying about using a good tool and, as any DIY enthusiast will tell you, the right tools can make all the difference. Some jobs can’t be done without the correct tool. Other jobs are made simpler and quicker by having the right tool. However, there is one problem that no tool can resolve.

In order to complete any DIY project about the house there is something far more important than any of your tools; without it you’re never going to get anything done.

Selection of hand tools

I’ve written before about aptitude; you may not be a “practical person” however that may just be down to a lack of experience. What is more important is your attitude. If you really want to do something, you will find a way to do it. Sure, you may not do it very well, but as you continue to work at it you will improve. Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours is about how well you do something, not whether you actually attempt it. It is obvious to most people that the more we practise something the better we will get. As the saying goes, “practise makes perfect.”

There are many relationship “tools” at our disposal – helping us understand personality types, love languages, motivators and so forth. But, even equipped with all these tools, if I do not have the attitude to make my marriage the best that it can be, the tools will remain unused. My marriage will be no better for having them at my disposal.

Conversely, there is something of the craft that, even without all the specialist tools, it is possible to do most jobs. Sure it may take longer and the results may not be quite as polished, but you can do it – if you have the mind to do so. There have been projects at home that have taken me hours, painstaking hours to complete. As I was working I was thinking, “If I only had a tool that could do this, it would be so much easier.” I don’t know whether the tool exists. Perhaps it does, but regardless, I did the job to my satisfaction.

The bottom line it this; we must not let what we don’t have hinder us from effectively using the tools that we do have. With the right attitude it is possible to have the marriage of your dreams.


20 days to the marriage of your dreams

20 days to the marriage of your dreams book cover

20 days is marriage coaching in print, providing you with 20 lessons and time to focus on the attitudes you bring to your marriage. Available exclusively in Kindle format, download a copy and take it wherever you go. Click here to learn more.

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