Why is so it difficult to ask this simple question?

Fear, uncertainty, confusion; Stress.

“I don’t know what you want from me!”
The statement rages round my head.
Fearing failure, I stall. Then, paralysed, I fail.

What do you want from me?

Have you ever felt that? Perhaps at work, perhaps at home?

Why do we struggle to actually ask the question, “What do you want from me?”

Is it fear? Fear of what?

The boundaries between work and life are increasingly blurred. More employers ‘allow’ working from home. But there is a trade-off; the technology allowing you to work anywhere lets you work anytime.

All the time?

Sitting at the table, dinner for two. The phone buzzes; an urgent message from the boss…

Expectations are not met… again.
Disappointment. Hurt.

“Don’t you realise how important this project is?!”
“Don’t I matter?!”

Marriage is about team.

A good team knows what success looks like. They have a common direction, they know the parameters of their work. They have agreed expectations. They have a plan.

I need to articulate; what do I need from you?
I need to listen; what do you need from me?
We need a plan.

Oh, and life changes. We need to review the plan.


  1. Good point. We must communicate, and we must invest time in marriage.

    • Hi Mariane, thanks for your comment.
      The difficult thing about communicating our expectations is that often it’s not until they’ve not been met that we realise the other person has different expectations to us!

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