Choices. We are faced with choices every day. Some are trivial, some are significant. From time to time we may have to make decisions that have national significance. On other occasions our choices may be of far greater importance, affecting the very core of our life and relationships.
Choices are not a problem, in fact they are good and help us develop our identity. Sure, sometimes too many options can leave us paralysed by indecisions, but so often we’re choosing between options that don’t have a wrong choice; what we will wear, eat or listen too are unlikely to massively affect us on any given day. Consistency over time on such things is far more important.
Some decisions do carry a penalty for making the wrong selection. Your choice of words, for example. Perhaps we’ve all done it; in the heat of the exchange we say “it”. Dragging up something from the past as ammunition in support of your case, to justify your position or simply humiliate the other person. It didn’t need to be said. A choice was made, a reactions caused and consequences reaped.
Too many marriages have been spoilt by careless words spoken in haste followed by a refusal to show “weakness” by backing-down. Are friendships less important than a sense of pride? Is a long-lasting and happy marriage less valuable than being “right”?
If we are wise we will be quick to make amends. But making amends doesn’t mean we have to agree on everything. It is a sign of immaturity to be unable to separate someone’s views or opinions from them as a person. Do you need to grow up, to disagree without being disagreeable?
“I don’t agree with you, but it was wrong of me to behave like that.
Can we still be friends?”